


Subtle 🖤

by blankz_filler



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A different kind of love, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Brotherly Bonding, Complicated Relationships, Conflict of Interests, Fanfiction, Forbidden Love, Growing Up, Learn to Move On, Love/Hate, M/M, OT8, Self-Harm, Self-Sacrifice, True Love, conformity, friendships, learn to love, life journey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:15:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankz_filler/pseuds/blankz_filler
Summary: Just waiting for the love bubble to be popped by reality ~Will the world changes their love, or will their love changes the world?Credits: Images from google, vlive, YT, edited by blankz_filler. English lyrics from multiple sources online.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Kudos: 5





	1. Sweet 💖  Start

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a story that focussing on the SKZ ship & their journey to debut, to their current lives. It provides a different perspective to readers on some common situations.
> 
> All events and characters in this fanfic are completely fictional, some might be based on actual events but they are served as partial reference, which means they're edited to suit the plot. So, please DO NOT cross reference/correlate any events or characters to the real life events/people.
> 
> Lastly, hope you enjoy the story:

Predebut survival show...

JYP walked into the room and said to the the 9 boys, "This is a survival show. You guys gonna prove to me that you're worth to debut. If any of you guys did not meet my expectation, I have to, unfortunately, eliminate you from the debut line. Practice well for the first showcase. Good luck."

The room was filled with only tension and worries after JYP had left.

Chan: C'mon guys! We can do it! I know we can. Nobody's going home. We'll definitely debut as 9! I dun care about 8, 7 or lesser. 9 is the number, no more, no less. Got it?

He placed his hand in the centre, prompting the others to joined him for a cheer.

Felix: Yeah. Nine or none!

Felix placed his hand on top of Chan's, followed by the others.

All: We can do it! Let's debut as 9! Oh- yeah!

The next day...

The two boys were hugging each other on the bed. The shorter back hugged the taller while nuzzling his nose in his back, taking in the scent of his precious one. As the room getting brighter with the sunrise, the taller shifted.

Changbin: Hey, babe. You awake?

Hyunjin: Mhmm...

Changbin: Hyunjin?

Hyunjin: ... ...

Changbin: Hyunnie? Jinnie? Hyunjinnie~ Baby~ Hey, sexy~

Hyunjin: Mhmm, stop it Changbin.

Hyunjin tried to escape from the source of the noise to resume sleeping. But Changbin tighten his hold on him.

Changbin: Don't, baby. I'm cold.

Hyunjin: Then let me sleep. I'm tired...yawn~

Changbin: Ok, ok. Go back to sleep.

Changbin kissed the back of his head then whispered, "Sleep more, my prince. I'll make you breakfast." Then he left the room before closing shut the door.

Seungmin: Hey, woke up early today, our rapper!

Changbin: Yo, our vocal. Had a good sleep?

Seungmin: Yea, you?

Changbin: Mm, a very _nice_ one indeed.

Changbin placed the pan to the stove, took a couple of eggs from the carton after putting the bread in the toaster.

Seungmin: Wow! What happened to you? You started cooking after a night with Hyunjin?

Changbin: Wh-what are you talking about?!

Seungmin: Isn't that right? You requested to change room with me so that you can be roommate with Hyunjin. And now you're cooking. Hmm, interesting. How's your bonding with Hyunjin goes?

Changbin: Pfft. WTH. We know each other better, ok. I asked for a room exchange because I thought it'll be better if I can learn more about him to improve his rap. I'm trying to get all of us to debut.

Seungmin: Okie. Whatever you say, Changbin. But just so you know, I'm his personal counselor. Don't you dare to break him apart or you'll be facing my fist.

Changbin rolled his eyes before going back to the frying eggs on the pan. _"I will be the first one to destroy the person who dares to break my prince"_ , Changbin thought.

Hyunjin and Changbin's relationship was not known by the other members yet. They had met each other in private after they had first met as a group with the other members, introduced by Chan. Then, they exchanged contacts. Changbin's the first to asked for a hangout with Hyunjin. And they clicked so well with each other which had led them to the decision to start dating as couple. They didn't tell the others because they know it'll cause lots of trouble, especially when they're preparing for the debut. The dating scandal, especially for gay couple will not received well by the public, what more about a gay couple among celebrities? They'll definitely be shunned by the whole world. The only thing he wanted to avoid was Hyunjin getting hurt.

Sizzling~ The sausages and eggs were dancing on the pan as Changbin seasoned it with salt and black pepper. Suddenly, he felt a pair of hands hugging him from behind.

Hyunjin: What're youu cookin?

Hyunjin dragged the words as he just woke up. But it sounded cute for Changbin.

Changbin: Typical western breakfast. Hey, Seungmin's just around. You sure it's ok to stay like this?

Hyunjin: I checked. He's in the bathroom, showering. Jeongin went out with Minho for coffee. Chan and Jisung're still in dreamland. Felix and Woojin were out somewhere. Just us now~

Hyunjin inhaled while hugging Changbin tightly, burying his head in his back.

Hyunjin: You smell nicer than the breakfast.

Changbin: Aww, babe. You smell nicer but tell me honestly, who fed you honey for you to spitting sweet words like this huh?

Hyunjin: Only you feeding me with sweets~

Changbin: Hehe. That's true, I'll feed you so full that you can't think of anything else.

Changbin tried to turn around to kiss Hyunjin but they heard the click sound of a door. Hyunjin swiftly released the grip and went to the refrigerator to pour him and Changbin some milk. Changbin was a little disappointed by the fading heat at the places where Hyunjin's hands were a moment ago. But he was relieved that they're not caught, yet. They had been playing cat and mouse game as they dated in secret while living with the members under a roof. It's nerve wrecking but at the same time, exciting. This situation made their longing for each other's touch grew even more day by day.

Jisung: Hey, Mornin.

Changbin: Hey.

Hyunjin: You want milk?

Jisung: Nah, I'mma get a coffee. Wow, what's this? You made me breakfast? Thank- Ouch!

Jisung's extending-to-the-food hand was instantly slapped by Changbin.

Changbin: It's for Hyunjin.

Jisung: What? Not fair. Where's mine?

Changbin: GO make it yourself. Hyunjin has class later. You have time to make breakfast for yourself.

Jisung pouted his mouth in response before making himself an instant coffee.

Changbin placed a plateful of breakfast in front of Hyunjin.

Changbin: Eat. I'll walk you to school later.

*Cough* Jisung choked at their conversation.

Jisung: Wha- He's 17 dude. You he's older brother?

Changbin: Shut up, Han. It's the same direction as my school, kay.

Jisung: Urgh, whatever. Luckily I dun need to go to school.

Hyunjin: Thanks, Changbin. Hehe.

Changbin just watched Hyunjin eat and occasionally nibbled on his own toasts and drank the milk poured by Hyunjin. Jisung was completely being left out, as if he wasn't there...

 _"Those guys...They're something, aren't they?"_ Jisung shuddered at the thought and left the dining room with his coffee, unable to continue staying in there with the lovey-dovey couple.

 _"If only we can be like this every day..."_ Changbin thought as he was looking at his prince eating the breakfast made by himself.

 _"If only we can love without worrying..."_ Hyunjin thought as he savoured the sweetest breakfast he ever had.

Subtle 🖤 TBC...

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: This is my first fanfic focusing on a skz ship. I'm trying out this writing style with more dialogues. But I might mess up at some parts, just informing in advance. So, please bear with me. Stay tuned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Each chapter comes with a cover* The flower message of pink tulips in the covers: a symbol of caring, attachment (not as strong as love, like the red ones) and good wishes. They would be appropriate for a friend or family member.  
> Tulips – representing purity, innocence, forgiveness and respect, they would be a great flower for a wedding or to give with an apology. --- tulipsinholland.com


	2. Sign of a Storm 🌫

On the way to school...

The two boys were walking side by side. Their hand were close but not touching each other.

Hyunjin: Changbin, the bus stop is here. You should go now.

Changbin: Why? I can com-

Hyunjin: No. You'll be late to class again. Your school is far from mine. Just go. I'll be fine on my own.

Hyunjin gave an assuring smile with his eyes turning into upward curved lines. But Changbin pouted in a frown.

Hyunjin: See you later at training.

Changbin: Ok. Be careful.

Hyunjin: You too.

They parted ways at the bus station. Hyunjin took the bus with a heavy heart. As he sat at a seat far behind the back, only he realised he'd been shaking so much in anxiety.

_"It's going to be ok Hyunjin. You're in high school now. Everything's in the past. Phew, just breathe."_ He reassured himself. After taking a few deep breaths, he checked his phone which had vibrated just a moment ago.

>>>

**Binnie Hyung 🐷**

hey I missed you

miss you 2

I'll pick you up after class?

no I'll see you at practice

Y

cuz I've grown up hyung. gotta go see you later

see you laterr 😘  
Mon 8:14 am

>>>

Unknown: Hey, pretty boy!

Just as he was about to step into the school gate, a hand that came from nowhere suddenly went over Hyunjin's neck, dragging him to the side alley. He panicked while trying to escape from the hold of the stranger.

Unknown: Yah! You better be quiet if you dun wanna attract any useless attention, little JYP trainee.

Hyunjin stopped struggling as he heard the word "JYP". His mind just went blank, in fear of what these guys want from him. They definitely know him and targeted him. He raised his head and counted 3 of them, including the one who's holding his neck. He turned to the side to look at the perpetrator but his eyes were met with a familiar face.

Hyunjin: Mu-Mun Soo?

Mun Soo: Haha, glad you still remember me, little trainee. Oh, no. You're now called the prince, aren't ya. You're famous now even tho you're just a trainee~

Hyunjin: Mun S-Soo. What d-do you want fr-from m-me?

Hyunjin had never been this scared in his life, since **that** incident in the past.

Mun Soo: Oh-ho~ Guys, our male lead still remember what we did eh? Should we tell him what we want?

Mun Soo was still gripping on his neck with his other hand holding his chin up so that he's looking into his eyes. Hyunjin was trembling uncontrollably, in fear and anxious of their next move.

Guys: Hahaha. Tell him.

Mun Soo: It's Mun Hee's birthday soon. Still remember how you rejected my beloved sis's confession last time? Hm?

Hyunjin winced at Mun Soo's clenching grip at both sides of his chin while questioning him.

Hyunjin: Y-yess.

Mun Soo: Apparently, my foolish sis still can't forget about you. Why did you have to be a trainee, showing your face here and there. Keep on reminding my sis about yourself when she's been trying so hard to forget about you. Huh? Answer me!

Hyunjin: Argh. Pl-please don't do this.

He can feel the pain from his lower part of his face turned numb. _"What do you want me to say? I was just chasing my dream. Why are you guys keep tormenting me?"_ Hyunjin had no idea what he had done so wrong to deserve this. Changbin came to his mind at this moment. He just hope that everything will just skip past to their practice, where he can be with Changbin.

Mun Soo gestured to the other guys, who approached Hyunjin, who then started body search on him.

Hyunjin: Wh-what are you doing! Lemme go!

Mun Soo: Shh. I told you to be quiet, didn't I? Don't make me repeat myself.

Guy 1: Here it is.

Guy 2: What should we do?

Mun Soo: You, come and grab him. Make sure he doesn't make a fuss.

Guy 2 approached them and tackled Hyunjin to the ground with his hands being bent to the back. His knee where he was kicked hurt so bad. He prayed that it won't affect his practice later.

Mun Soo took the phone from Guy 1. Then he placed Hyunjin's thumb on the screen to unlock it.

Mun Soo: Oh? Interesting. So this is the reason you won't accept Mun Hee's confession? Hahaha. And here I thought my sis was not up to your standard. Apparently, it's you who're not worth my sis's attention!

Mun Soo turned the screen to Hyunjin, who widened his eyes at the screen in front of him.

[ **Binnie Hyung 🐷** ]

Mun Soo: Now, let me guess. You guys are gay? Pfft. JYP trainees are gays homo. If this was put online, I wonder how you and your little boyfriend will survive? Don't even think about the idols world, you can't even survive as a normal studen-

Hyunjin: Shut up! He's just one of my hyungs. Give me back my phone, now!

Mun Soo typed something on the phone. The phone vibrated and he checked again anticipatedly, but he was soon disappointed by what he'd seen.

Mun Soo: Sigh. I guess I'll need to meet you again next time. Here's your phone. Nice to see you again, Hyunjin. I'll be sure to visit you again before you start to miss me. Oh, and you know how to keep your mouth shut right? Just stay low like how you've been like in middle school.

The phone was dropped at the ground right in front of Hyunjin. Mun Soo squatted in front of him.

Mun Soo: Don't think this is over. If you dun wan yer past come to light, ya better listen to me obediently. Do you get it, prince? Answer!

Hyunjin flinched before stuttered, "Y-yes."

They left him in the alley. Hyunjin climbed to his phone and read the words on the screen.

>>>

**Binnie Hyung 🐷**

see you laterr 😘

do you miss my kisses 💋

hyunjin? you alright?

hey do you need help?

jinnie?

please reply

hyunjin!  
Mon 8:36 am

>>>

He also noticed three missed calls from Changbin. Why did he call when he's in class? Hyunjin typed on the phone before tossing it into his bag. He knew he was late for class but he adjusted all his clothes, hair and hung his bag over his shoulder. He took another deep breath before wiping away his tears, pulled his collar up, in hope to cover his bruised chin and walked out of the alley while trying not to limp, heading to the direction of his school.

>>>

**My Prince 👑**

please reply

hyunjin!

im alrigh. talk to u later  
Mon 8:44 am

>>>

In Bora high school...

Changbin tapped on the table beside his phone furiously. He knew something was wrong with Hyunjin's reply. But Hyunjin did not call him. This meant that he can only wait for his explanation later on.

_"Should I pick him up later? But he'll be angry if I showed up without notice. Sigh, I'll ask him during practice then. Hope it's nothing major."_

The practice room of JYPE...

Minho: Ta-ta-ta-ta, ta-ta-ta, ta-ta, ta-ta-ta-ta. Stop! Jeongin, try to move your right hand faster at this part, then straighten your left hand...

Click. The door of the practice room was opened during the practice. Hyunjin showed up in his practice attire, but something looked different from usual. He wore a turtleneck long sleeve with a black face mask on. And he was usually one of the earliest members to come for practice but not today.

Chan: Hey, Hyunjin. What's up? You're late. And what's with the clothing? You sure you can breathe in those as you dance?

He just nodded in response to Chan's questions. Changbin, Seungmin and Chan were worried about him as they noticed something was off about Hyunjin.

Chan: Ok, as long as you're comfortable with it. Put down your bag and join us quickly. We're at the third part now.

Hyunjin nodded again and moved to the side of the room to place his bag on the floor. Changbin noticed a slight limp as Hyunjin walked across the room. He wanted to asked him but Hyunjin had already joined them on the dance floor.

Minho: Hyunjin, you're slow by a beat.

Chan: Hyunjin, your left leg is slower over here. Move faster.

Changbin: Jinnie, you okay?

Minho: Hyunjin, left leg first!

Hyunjin...

Hyunjin...

Hyunjin...

He can't remember how many times his name was called out due to the mistakes he had made. He was exhausted, in pain, and he just want everything to end. The practice that he'd been looking forward to had turned out to be a torturing session for him now. He plopped down on the dance floor as soon as the practice ended after enduring hours of painfulness.

Chan: Hey, Hyunjin, you sure you're okay?

Hyunjin: Y-yea...I'm just tired. I'll do better in the next practice, sorry.

Chan: You'd better. The showcase is near. We dun wanna leave out anyone. Let me know if anything goes wrong, alright?

Hyunjin nodded again and Chan left, followed by the other members. Suddenly, his left cheek was met by a bottle of cold water which he flinched in reflex.

Changbin: Hey.

Hyunjin: Hey.

Changbin: You sure you're ok?

Hyunjin: Yea, Im just ti-

Changbin: Jinnie, please dun lie to me. I saw you're struggling throughout the practice. You're even limping when you walk.

Hyunjin's eyes widen in shock. He had been trying to hide his injured knee by refraining himself from limping but Changbin had noticed it.

Hyunjin: I-I'm alright, Changbin. I just need to rest.

Changbin: Sigh, why are you so stubborn about it? I'm trying to help. Jinnie, since when we have so many secrets?

Hyunjin: Stop. Please. I dun wanna talk about this and I didn't need your help. I can work it out.

Changbin: Hyunjin, I wanna help. What do you want me to do if I know my b-friend, my friend is hurt?

Hyunjin: It's alright hyung. I swear it's nothing.

He did not want to involve Changbin in this mess. To debut as an idol, their image is important. And he knew Changbin will kill them if he knew what happened to him. He can't afford for Changbin to have bad records that will taint his image. Hyunjin tried to get up when the frustrated Changbin pulled his mask down. Purple-bluish patches were visible on the sides of his jaw. He tried to cover them but Changbin had already held his hands and inspecting the bruises.

Changbin: Who did this? Hyunjin. Speak.

Hyunjin trembled when he heard Changbin was speaking through his gritting teeth. He knew Changbin was beyond furious at this point, and was not able to control his impulse.

Hyunjin: Ch-Changbin. Listen to me please. It's really nothing. Please just let it g-go.

Changbin: You're not telling me? For real? After all of this?

He then rolled Hyunjin's left pants up to check on the knee. It was already surrounded by a bluish-black patch. Changbin covered his mouth with his hand before looking up at Hyunjin.

Changbin: Still not talking?

Hyunjin shook his head, covering his mouth while trying to swallow the sobbing that was itching to escape from his hands.

Changbin: Sigh. Fine. Stay here. Sit. Don't you dare to move.

Hyunjin: Wa-wait. Changbin? Sobs.

Changbin left the room as well. Hyunjin sat on the dance floor, sobbing quietly. He did not dare to move an inch from where Changbin had told him to sit. He took it as the punishment from Changbin. He deserved this for being such a lacking boyfriend.

The door clicked open again. Hyunjin looked up frantically to check if it was Changbin. But his face turned to a frown immediately.

Seungmin: Hyunjin? Hey, what's wrong?

Seungmin rushed to his side when he saw all the bruises and the sobbing Hyunjin. Seungmin embraced his friend who was crying loudly this time, as if he was pouring everything out from his chest.

Seungmin: Shhhh. Everything will be ok.

They just held each other as Hyunjin cried his heart out.

_"Is Changbin finally fed up with me? Have I lost him now? Like forever?"_

Subtle 🖤 TBC...

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: It's a heartbreaking chapter. I'm trying to build the plot in the direction of a major event. You might find some major events familiar. This is because I'm planning to use the actual events for climax building. But only some events are real, the actions, thoughts and feelings of the characters are entirely fictional. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Stay tuned.


	3. 🌩 Thunder in Distant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still struggling to divide them into chapters. Unsure if I can make different arcs when the major events run parallel with each other. Anyway, I'll try and hope you guys enjoy it.

Seungmin: Feeling better now?

Hyunjin: Y-yeah. Thanks.

Seungmin: Don't mention it. You wanna drink some water?

Hyunjin nodded and Seungmin passed him a bottle of water.

Seungmin: Do you wanna talk?

Hyunjin: ... ... I think, I think I've pissed off Changbin hyung...

Seungmin: Pfft. What are you talking about. Sorry, let me laugh for awhile. Hahhaa-hahha. Omg, you've been bawling your eyes out because of that?

Hyunjin: What's so funny about it!

Seungmin: Hyunjin, Changbin was the one who asked me to stay with you as he going to get some ointment for your bruises.

Hyunjin: S-so he-he's coming back? 

Seungmin: Yeah, you silly. 

Hyunjin beamed into the brightest smile that Seungmin had ever seen. He wiped the tears off Hyunjin's face with some tissue papers. 

Seungmin: Now you look like an ugly pup. 

Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows at Seungmin's remark and they laughed together.

The door opened and Changbin entered with a first aid kit in his hand. He kneeled in front of Hyunjin, opened the kit, took out the saline water, arnica cream and some gauze. As he was cleaning some scratches on Hyunjin's knee, he looked at the sorry state of his boyfriend.

Changbin: Why have you been crying? Is it painful?

Hyunjin: Mhm. 

The bruises aren't that painful but the thought that he might have lost Changbin hurts so much.

Changbin applied antiseptic cream to the scratches, then he proceed to apply the arnica cream to his knee and his jaw, which is a very effective remedy for bruises.

Changbin: Mind explaining now? 

Hyunjin: ... ...

Changbin: Sigh. I'm not gonna scold you or rush out to track that perpetrator and beat him up straightaway, Jinnie. I just need to know what happened.

Seungmin (whisper): As if you wouldn't do the latter...

Changbin: What did you said?

Seungmin: Ehem. I mean, yeah Jinnie. Please, can you let us know what happened, just in general? We just wanna help, as your friends. It's killing us to sit here while knowing nothing when you've been hurt like this.

Hyunjin: I-I was ambushed at my school this morning-

Changbin: I knew it! That's why I said I'm gonna walk you there! It's one of the punk at your school isn't it?!

Seungmin: Hyung, please, calm down. Let's listen first.

Hyunjin: It's not from my school.

Changbin: What!

Seungmin glared at Changbin while the latter shut his mouth in silence.

Hyunjin: He was from my middle school...His sister confessed to me once when I was in middle school but I turned her down. H-he told me that his sister's birthday is coming...

Changbin: This SOB. Imma make him pay.

Seungmin: Hyung! Language, please. So, what does he want?

Hyunjin: He didn't say anything, yet. But he said he'll find me ag-

Changbin: Damnit! I swear I'll tear him into pieces if I ever seen him near you! Is he the one who sent the message earlier?

Changbin had found it odd when he received the message from Hyunjin earlier. He had always wanted the younger to flirt with him but he know him too well that he's a really cautious person who would never flirt over a text, especially when they're still trainees. 

Hyunjin nodded.

Changbin: Don't tell me he beat you up just to send me a text.

Both Changbin and Hyunjin knew what Mun Soo was up to when he sent Changbin that text. But they said nothing more because Seungmin was there and they were not ready to reveal their relationship.

Hyunjin kept his silence and Seungmin instantly hugged Hyunjin. He didn't know the content of the text they're talking about but he can sensed that his friend was really anxious and frightened that he just want to comfort him now. 

Changbin: Jinnie, please let me know if he ever contact you again. And from now onwards, you aren't allowed to go anywhere else by yourself, you hear me?

Hyunjin slowly nodded.

Seungmin: Should we tell JYP about this? They can increase security-

Changbin: No!

Hyunjin tensed at Seungmin's suggestion.

Changbin: I-I mean that we should collect more evidence to prove this. It's not even from his school. It'll be complicated...

Seungmin: Hmm. Ok. Whatever you guys are more comfortable with. But promise me that you will tell me your plan in advance. I don't want any of you guys got hurt anymore. You hear me? Especially you, Changbin hyung. Please don't be so impulsive.

Changbin: Ok ok. I will let you know beforehand so that you can join in with me as I'm beating up that jerk-Ouch!

Seungmin punched Changbin in his arm before rolling his eyes at him.

Seungmin: I know you have always had those crazy ideas, hyung. But I'm not gonna complain this time.

They sat in a circle before hugging each other by the shoulder.

Changbin: Hey, we got your back, alright? Don't worry about this anymore.

Hyunjin: Okie. Thanks hyung and Seungmin.

Seungmin: But I have one condition.

The two turned their heads to Seungmin.

Seungmin: We need to let Chan hyung know.

Their eyes widened in shock. For them, the lesser people that know about this, the easier to deal with it. But now Seungmin wanted to tell their leader.

Seungmin: Relax. I mean about Hyunjin's injuries. At least let Chan hyung know about it. Hyunjin can't practice in this state. It'll be better to take a break to recover faster.

Hyunjin: Yeah, you got a point.

Changbin: But what excuse should we tell him? He ain't fool that will take our lies.

Seungmin: Hmmm. How about we said Hyunjin got into a fight?

Hyunjin: Me?

Changbin: Err, Seungmin. Are you sure? If you said Minho's the one that got into a fight it's more believable. Who'd believe that Hyunjin fought? He's skinny as a stickman-Ouch!

This time he got a punch from Hyunjin.

Hyunjin: I'm fit alright. We can talk about the girl issue problem.

Seungmin: You're right, Jinnie! Let's just say that he reject the sis so he got beaten up by the bro. We dunnit to mention about the text. This is good enough.

Changbin: Yeah you're right, it's more believable that he got beaten up. Let's go with this then.

The two glared at him before agreeing to the suggestion.

At Chan's workroom...

Chan: What do you think about this part? The beats are just nice for the rap, don't you think?

Jisung: You're right. I can rap my part easier and it blends with the music. This part will suit Changbin-

Knock! Knock!

Chan: Come in. Oh, Changbin we're just talki- Hyunjin and Seungmin too? What's going on?

The three entered the room with the most serious expression they can put on.

Changbin: Hyung, can we talk to you?

Chan: Yea, sure. What's this about?

The three looked at Jisung and Chan understood right away.

Chan: Sunggie, go and practice this part and we'll record it later alright?

Jisung: W-what? What about the song review?

Chan: We'll do it later at night.

Jisung: If you say so. See you later.

Jisung took the sheets, glanced over the three before leaving the room. _"What the heck is going on?"_ Jisung was dumbfounded at his members' weird behaviours. But he proceed to his room to practice.

Chan: So?

Changbin: Ehem. Actually, Hyunjin needs a break from practice.

Chan: During this time?

Seungmin: Yeah, it couldn't help.

Hyunjin: I-I need time to recover from my injuries...Hyung, I'm sorry.

*Gasp* Chan looked at Hyunjin's bruises as the younger removed his face mask and rolled up the left side of his pants. 

Chan: Wh-what the hell happened? And you said nothing during practice!

Hyunjin: I'm sorry. I just tried not to interrupt with our schedule...but I guess I've messed it up anyway-

Chan: That's not the whole point, Hyunjin. You should've told me earlier. You could have hurt yourself badly!

Hyunjin bowed in apology. While Chan forgave him with a hug.

Chan: I'll let the others know that you'll be taking a few days break. Now, tell me what exactly happen so that I can plan.

All of them were sitting in the room now, with Chan facing the trio.

Hyunjin: I was careless and got ambushed this morning on my way to school. Th-the guys were from my middle school. He held grudges against me since, sigh, I had rejected his sis's confession during middle school...

Chan: What a jerk. Did things ended there then?

Hyunjin shook his head in reply.

Changbin: He told Hyunjin that he'll find him again, soon. Can you believe this, hyung? This guy's mental! 

Chan: Calm down, Changbin. So, what's on your mind? Do you guys wanna tell JYP about this?

The three of them looked at each other before turning back to Chan.

Seungmin: We want to play it safe. We decide to collect more evidence first before notifying JYP. What do you think, hyung?

Chan: Hmm. If we're to start collecting evidence, we need to be working in a group close. I assume you guys haven't told anyone yet?

They all shook their heads.

Chan: Alright, I understand. But each of you must report to me whenever something's up, I don't care if it's major or minor. I need to know about everything relating to this incident. Can you do that?

Seungmin nodded right away but the duo hesitated a bit before nodding too. 

Chan: Good. Now, Hyunjin should go back and rest. Make sure to take care of your wounds. I'll apply the medical leave to your school on your behalf. And NEVER go anywhere by yourself, until this case is solved. Is everyone clear?

They all nodded. 

Chan: Ok I-

Knock! Knock!

The room went silent before Chan asked the person to enter.

Woojin: What takes you so long- Oh, am I interrupting something?

Chan: No. They're just about to leave. Go on, I'll call you later.

The three of them nodded before leaving the room, leaving a dumbfounded Woojin.

Woojin: Am I missing something?

Chan: Nah, nothing much. So, what's up?

Chan smoothly redirect their conversation.

Woojin: Oh, it's about the stuff I told you last time. I...I still feel like I can't fit in. Like, sigh. It's like I'm not part of the team, you get me?

Chan: Woojin hyung, it takes time to know each other better. I understand why you feel that way. It must be abrupt for each of you when I've gathered everyone six months ago to form the team. I will just ask you this. Are you up for this debut or not? If you're really feeling that you're uncertain about debuting as part of this group, I'll let JYP know that you'd wanted to be voluntarily removed from the debut team. What's your answer?

There's so much stuff running in Woojin's mind now. If he gave up now, he'll never know when he'll get this opportunity again. They're promised with a debut, but they need to go through these challenges as a team in order to debut. But his personality and thinking did not blend well with the rest of the team. Others were super hyper and up for this group thing. Sometimes, he felt like he's being left out when the group was laughing at silly jokes, for most of the times, he felt that the genre of the songs they're performing did not suit his vocal well. He enjoyed being with his friends but at the same time, he struggled to keep up with their pace. He wasn't sure if he is the only one that's feeling this way or the other members feel it too.

Woojin: Sigh, the thing is, I'm not sure. I don't know anymore, Chan. I'm so confused.

Chan patted his back and gave out a long sigh before saying, "Now is our critical time. It's alright to feel confused, exhausted, and hesitation. It's like we're not really at the bottom yet we're also not really at the top, it's like we're hanging the the middle. We can either be dropped to the very bottom in the very next second or rose to the peak in the next moment. This anxiety of uncertainty, I understand, hyung. I'm sure all the members feel it too. How about you think about it over a good night sleep and let me know at a later date? I hope that you will really think about it seriously before making up your mind. I truly care about each of you, and the team as a whole. And most importantly, I don't want you to make a big decision in rash just to regret about it later on. Whatever you decide, I'll support you. Just don't drag it too long either. Once we've officially debut, I hope to keep the number unchanged, ok?"

Woojin: Mhm. Thanks, Chan. I'll give it a thought. But please don't keep so much faith in me...I don't wanna let you down-

Chan: Hey, hey. What're you talking about? You just said you gonna think about it but you're saying as if you're ready to leave. I don't wanna pressure you into anything, hyung. It's important to prioritise yourself first but in reality, most of the good stuff come after hardships. Not everything's a smooth journey from start to end. Sigh, I'd better stop nagging now. I still stand with what I say, I'll support your decision as long as you don't drag it out. As the leader, the team is still my highest priority before the individual member, as long as it doesn't hurt the group, I'll help you as much as I can. I hope you understand this on my part.

Woojin: I- understand. Thank you, Chan. 

They gave each other a supportive hug before parted their ways. Then, Chan leaned back in his seat, massaging his temples. The growling thunder can be heard from outside as Woojin left through the door.

_"Sigh, what a day...Even the weather is bad."_

Subtle 🖤 TBC...

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I'm just filling the blanks between the major events, those unseen/not in public parts, with my own imagination. Please keep in mind that they are all completely fictional. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter. Stay tuned.


	4. Warm Breeze 🎐

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a rather light chapter compared to earlier ones.

At the dorm...

Jisung: Hyung, stop it! It's not the time to play.

Minho: Why? You're so down today. What happen? I thought you were going to have a song review session with Chan and Changbin.

Jisung pouted at Minho's question as that's the answer he wanted to know too.

Jisung: Well, it got postponed to later at night. I'll need to leave at 8pm. 

Minho: That's late. I can drop you-

Jisung: Yah! I'm 17 buddy. And I'm not a fragile girl that needed extra protection at night.

Minho: Ya, ya, ya. Right, you're just a silly chipmunk that's waiting to be preyed on the night street-

Jisung: Stop scaring me! You a**hole!

Beep-beep! Click!

The three had reached their dorm. And they stumbled at the scene where Jisung was beating up Minho on the couch.

Seungmin: Erm...are we interrupting something?

Jisung stood straight right away while Minho chuckled.

Jisung: N-no, of course. Just this hyung is trying to scare me! Such a bad hyung!

Changbin: Haha, but you doesn't seem to despise that.

Jisung: What did you say? Oh, right. What happened just now?

Changbin: What da ya mean?

Jisung: At Chan hyung there just now. What's going on? Is it something serious?

The trio fell silence while Jisung and Minho were anticipating for some explanation. 

Seungmin: Nothing serious. Just that Hyunjin got sick and needed a break, right?

Hyunjin: *cough* Y-yeah *cough*

Minho: You need three people to ask for a break?

Seungmin: Yeah-?

Changbin: We just worry this llama will faint on the way, kay? By the way, why don't you guys continue on what you're doing just now.

The trio started to move towards their rooms when Minho speak, "You don't have to try so hard to evade the conversation. We won't ask if you won't say." He winked at them, causing the trio to glare at him before dashing out of the common area. While the poor Jisung, still late at catching hints and clues, standing there dumbfounded at their reaction to Minho's statement. 

Jisung: How did you know about what's going on when you're here since practice?

Minho: Interested? Give me a peck on my cheek first.

Jisung rolled his eyes and left, leaving Minho laughing on the couch after successfully pissed off the chipmunk. _"But I wonder what it is exactly the three are up to."_

In the room...

Changbin: Hey, you can bath first. I'll prepare something warm for you.

Hyunjin: Hyung, can you please don't cook?

Changbin: Why? You want some takeaway instead?

Hyunjin: No, cause except for pan fried eggs and sausages...sigh, I don't wanna hear the fire alarm again.

Changbin: ... ....

Hyunjin: Sorry, hyung. But I'm alright with anything-

Changbin: I'll get Felix, ok. At least he's a better cook than me.

Hyunjin: Thank you.

Changbin: Wow, you really don't fake any compliment for your boyfriend, huh?

Hyunjin: Do I need too? I thought you like me this way.

Changbin leaned in to kiss him on the lips. He pecked on the thick, plump lips a few more times before preparing to leave.

Changbin: Yeah, you're right. I like this savage lips better. It tastes- hotter.

He gave a smirk after licking his own lips. Then, he left the room to find Felix.

 _"Sigh, he just do whatever he wants. What a straightforward hyung. Hehe."_ Hyunjin touched his own lips that were a little swollen now from all the aggressive pecking from Changbin. _"Is he a rooster? How can his peck kisses feel like a beak pecking on my lips?"_

At the corridor...

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Changbin: Anybody home~!

He sang loudly, trying to annoy the resident of the room.

Click!

Felix: What's- Hyung? Why are you here?

Changbin: I need your help.

Felix raise an eyebrow in question.

In the kitchen...

Felix julienne the carrots and cabbage while Changbin was washing the fish cakes.

Felix: Hyung, please soak the rice cakes too.

Changbin: In hot or cold water?

Felix: Tap water is fine. But hyung, you sure tteokbokki is the right dish for a sick person?

Changbin: Why not? Once he sweated out after some spicy tteokbokki, he'll recover. Trust me.

Felix raise his brow again in question. He can never understand what's going on in Changbin's head. But as weird as the idea sounded, there's some hint of truth behind it. It's true that a person with cold will get better after sweating it out, but Felix doubted that a spicy tteokbokki will do any good...

Felix turned on the stove and placed a pot on top of it. 

Felix: Soup or sauce?

Changbin: Sauce. Make it real thick ones.

Felix again questioning about Changbin's decision. _"Is this hyung the one eating or Hyunjin's the one eating? Sigh, I don't give a damn anymore. Whatever."_ He filled the pot with 1/4 of water, put in a big spoonful of red paste and wait for it to boil. When the water started boiling, Felix caught Changbin, the one who was begging to learn how to cook just now, was busy texting at the side.

Felix: Hyung, please focus. You don't learn cooking with texting.

Changbin: Ok, ok. I'm sorry. Now, where are we?

Felix: First put in the vegetables. Then, the rice cakes. Then... ...

In the room...

>>>

**Binnie Hyung 🐷**

Hey, done bathing?

yea

cooking for u rn

what r u cookin

guess

ramen

dang

porridge

dang

what?  
Mon 7:58 pm

>>>

_"Sigh, why do I have a bad feeling about this?"_ Hyunjin went to dry his hair instead. He was doing his facial care routine when the door opened and the familiar aroma hit him.

Changbin: Hey, food is ready. Come out and eat when you're done.

Hyunjin: Why do I smell such a strong spiciness?

Changbin: Come out and eat okay. No more question.

Hyunjin: Alright, I'm done.

Changbin: Wait, let's reapply the ointment on your bruises first. You have to make sure to apply them twice daily. You hear me prince?

Hyunjin flinched at his last sentence. He was reminded of the words of Mun Soo this morning.

Changbin: Jinnie? Hey, babe, what's wrong? Is it still hurt?

Hyunjin wrapped his arms around Changbin's neck while Changbin hugged him back.

Hyunjin: Yea, it still hurt. But I'm glad you're here now. Thanks, hyung.

Changbin patted his back, trying to soothe his pain. Then, they cuddled for another few minutes before going out for dinner.

In the dining area...

Felix: Hey, Hyunjin. How're you? I heard from Changbin that you're sick.

Hyunjin: Y-yeah I'm *cough* better now. Thank you *cough*

Felix: That's- good.

Felix felt something was off. And both of them are acting rather weird, but he brushed it off aside. He scooped a bowl of tteokbokki for Hyunjin and placed it on the table in front of him.

Hyunjin: Thanks, Felix.

Felix: Nah, don't mention it. You should eat some before taking your meds.

*cough* This time Hyunjin was coughing for real as he choked at Felix's words. He feels guilty of lying about getting sick. Felix immediately brought a glass of water for him. Later, he brought another bowl of warm water for him.

Felix: See, hyung. I told you Hyunjin can't really eat spicy food. You shouldn't have added so much chili powder...

Changbin: It was an accident! I didn't know the lid will just fall off like that. Sorry. Hey, are you alright?

Changbin was patting Hyunjin's back as he cough.

Felix: Try clearing the spice in the bowl of water. It'll be less spicy.

Hyunjin: Th *cough* Thank you, Fe *cough* ix.

Felix: You're welcome. Just don't talk first until the coughing stop.

Hyunjin noded and drank some water. While Changbin apologise to Hyunjin for accidentally making it too spicy for him.

Hyunjin: I'm alright now. Thank you. Felix, you know me so well. What can I do without you?

Hyunjin grabbed Felix's hand with his teary eyes (due to the coughing too much). Changbin was shocked at this scene and pouted at them while Hyunjin smirk at him.

Felix: It's alright. Changbin hyung is just bad at cooking. I can cook something light for you if this is too much-

Hyunjin: Oh no no. Felix, how can I ask for more. This is delicious, lix. I'll eat this for tonight.

Felix: Okie, just let me know what you want to eat tomorrow. I'll cook for you. I don't trust Changbin hyung's suggestion.

Hyunjin: Hahaha, he's the one who suggested spicy tteokbokki?

Felix nodded while Changbin lowered his head even more.

Changbin: I thought you like tteokbokki...and since when you guys are this close?

Hyunjin wrapped one of his arm over Felix's neck, pulling the latter closer.

Hyunjin: Jealous?

Changbin: Hey! That's too much. Let him go now, you genie-devil!

Hyunjin let go of Felix as both of them laughed at Changbin's annoyed face. Hyunjin shut Changbin up by feeding him a piece of rice cake. 

Hyunjin: Here you go, Binnie hyung. Don't be mad. We both love you too~

Felix nodded in agreement while Changbin's cheeks flushed in bright red. He would do anything to protect his members. And those two are precious to him. They were eating and joking when the front door opened.

Jeongin: Wow, did I miss the party?

The three of them turned to face him.

Hyunjin: Pfft, no, you aren't too late. Are you hungry, Innie?

Jeongin: Mmh. My stomach has been grumbling since earlier.

Hyunjin: Oh, poor Innie. C'mere baby bread, we're having tteokbokki.

Hyunjin pulled Jeongin to the table while Felix went to grab another set of bowl and chopsticks for him. All of them have a soft spot for Jeongin, who is the youngest among the members. All of the members treated him as their precious little baby brother. Jeongin was repulsive about it at first, but he'd slowly come to accept them in defeat. 

Jeongin: Mmm~ It's nice.

Changbin: Right? See, I.N. said it's nice. 

Jeongin: But I like spicy food. I can see why Hyunjin hyung doesn't enjoy it.

Hyunjin side glanced at Changbin and flipped his hair in victory while Changbin rested his chin on his propped up hand with a pout in defeat. They laughed at their reaction.

Changbin: Hey, I need to go and meet Chan and Han now. I'm late. Please take care of this sick llama for me.

Jeongin & Felix: We will. You can go.

After Changbin had left, they joke about the earlier scene when they're teasing Changbin together.

Click!

Seungmin: Am I late to the party?

 _"What's this déjà vu feeling?"_ The three of them thought to themselves.

Subtle 🖤 TBC...

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A/N: This is a filler chapter for some sweet moments. Hope you enjoy it. Stay tuned.


	5. The Sudden Thunder ⚡

Three days later...

In the practice room...

Chan: Hey, Hyunjin, feeling better now?

Hyunjin: Yes, thanks for the break. It really helps.

Chan: No worries. Everyone should be extra careful and keep watch of your health. We can't have any of you fall sick at this time. If you guys had ever encountered any issue, don't ever feel reluctant to consult me. Got it? 

All: Got it.

Chan: Good. Now, shall we pick our song? We (3racha: Chan, Changbin & Jisung) have produced a few of them. Let us know which one you guys prefer to perform.

They listened to a few of the intros, then this particular song, titled "Elevator", kind of caught their attention.

Felix: This is bop.

Minho: Yeah, I kinda like this one.

Jeongin: I like it too. 

Seungmin: It's kind of deep but not too scary like the earlier one.

Hyunjin: Yeah, not as scary as the one Changbin likes XD.

Changbin: I like dark 😎.

All of them agreed that this is the song that they will be performing.

Jisung: Actually, if we add "H" in front it kinda gave the dark vibe --- Hellevatorrr.

Changbin: Damn, that's genius.

Chan: Sunggie, you know. Sometimes I really admire your naming skill.

Others: Agree! Sounds like our song.

Chan: How's our songs sound like?

Changbin: Dark-

Seungmin: A little rebellious? Kind of like teenagers struggling to achieve their freedom, trying to find their way as they're learning to be young adults.

Chan: Oh~ way to go Seungmin! You actually inspire me for our group name.

Everyone's looking at Chan with anticipation.

Chan: Stray Kids.

All: Wow. How can that sounds exactly like us? That's perfect!

Chan: So, we're good for the song and group name?

All of them nodded.

Chan: Alrighty, let's start practising.

And they started practising their song officially with the vocal teachers, choreography directors, etc. for the whole week. They trying to learn their rap, the vocal, the choreography as best as they can. It was all hard work, striving to execute the perfect performance. It was a rough week for them, with the younger members working between school and practice, the older members working on the song producing and planning the performance. And so, there's tendency for some friction to slip in between the members. 

One night after the practice...

Jisung was on the phone talking with his family.

Jisung: Hey, how's everyone?

Mum: Hey Sunggie, we're good. How're you hon?

Jisung: I'm good. Just, just missing you guys...

Mum: Aww, we miss you too.

Brother: Hey, Sunggie how're you kiddo?

Jisung: I'm good hyung. Did you do well for your test?

Brother: Sure did. How 'bout you? Been having fun with your friends?

Jisung: Yeah, haha. We're prepin for the first evaluation.

Brother: Must be tough. Take good care of yourself. You always act so carefree but you don't even realise that you're stressed sometimes. Don't be too harsh on yourself.

Jisung: Thanks, hyung. You too and take care of mum and dad for me.

Mum: We're healthy, and your brother is job hunting now. All of us are doing fine-

Dad: Who's it? Is it Jisung?

Brother: Yea-

Dad: Give me the phone. Han Jisung, I heard that your group has finally get the chance to debut. 

Jisung: Sigh, yes, dad.

Dad: Remember what you have promised me?

Jisung: ... ...

Mum: Honey! Don't be so rough on him. Can't you start with some casual greeting? It's been so hard to meet your son nowadays!

Dad: He's grown up. He knows what's important.

Brother: Dad, he's still a teenage-

Dad: Well he's going to be an idol. This amount of stress and expectations, he should get used to it by now.

Jisung: Sigh, it's alright, mum. I still remember...If I didn't manage to debut this time, I'll go back to Malaysia to finish my studies. I'll keep my promise, dad.

Dad: That's good to know. I know you'll make me proud, son.

Jisung: But dad, if I successfully debut, can you promise me that you'll sincerely support my career? 

Dad: We'll talk about that when you have actually debut.

Jisung: ... ...

Mum & Brother: Dad has just left but just so you know we'll support you regardlessly! 

Mum: Don't forget that you have a home to return to whenever you need us, okay?

Jisung: Haha. Thanks mum, hyung. I'll call you guys again, it's getting late. I still have morning practice tomorrow.

Mum: Okay. Go and rest. Sweet dreams Sunggie~

Mum & Brother: Bye~

Jisung: Bye.

Lots of stuff was going on in Jisung's mind. He must debut this time. And he was nervous as he's not getting the recognition that he had expected from their last showcase that decide their debut, he had received feedback that his rap was rather old-style, not outstanding at all. He's unsure if he can do well this time.

The final practice before evaluation...

They started "Hellevator" and practice like usual when a conflict started. Jisung was feeling extra anxious and stressed today. When they were practising, he missed a part of the choreography. He knew he had messed up the routine but he's just to tired to think about anything else. With the lack of sleep, the exhausting practice, and the pressure to debut, he just wanted the evaluation to end as soon as possible to get some rest.

Hyunjin: Hey, Jisung. Your hands aren't raised for the elevator part.

Jisung: I know. It's just this time. Can't you let it off?

Hyunjin: I'm just pointing it out as you didn't do it. How am I supposed to overlook that when you made a mistake?

Jisung: I did it perfectly fine every other time! Do you have to make it such a big deal?

Hyunjin: I just hope you can dance better-

Jisung: Then you should rap better, dude!

Hyunjin was criticised during their last showcase for being unclear with his pronunciation during his rap. He's pretty conscious about this as it's part of his insecurity now. They both fell silence and were just staring at each other. Other members started looking in their direction worriedly.

Bang Chan: Guys, what's the problem?

Hyunjin: Nothing... 

Jisung: ... ...

During the rehearsal with the teachers...

Teacher: It's looking good.

All: Thank you.

Teacher: However, I can feel the tension in the group. Is there any problem?

The members were taking glances at Jisung and Hyunjin. The teacher kind of getting the idea.

Teacher: It's really important to maintain the positive energy in the group. If there's any conflicts between the members, it's better to resolve it as soon as possible or it'll only get worse. Do you guys have anything to say to each other?

Hyunjin was feeling sorry since he had last confronted Jisung. He understand that this is the time when all of them are pretty stressed. And he felt bad for ending their confrontation on a bad note. He hope that he can make up to his mistakes.

Hyunjin: I'm sorry. I should've been more considerate...

The other members took turns to talk about the stuff that they've been bottling up, until it's Jisung's turn.

Jisung: Sigh, this person is annoying me so much. I just hope that he'll stop bothering me!

Everyone's shocked and they all knew who he's talking about. Hyunjin's the one who was the most in shock. He knew he would have hurt Jisung's feelings but he could never have predicted that Jisung would hated him to this extend. Tears started to form around his eyes and he didn't allow the chance for the members to see him crying as he rushed out of the room.

Changbin was in conflict. He wasn't sure if he should rush after Hyunjin or to stay beside Jisung. The 3racha was already producing songs together way back before they formed the current Stray Kids group. They shared a special brotherhood bond. But now, there's another kind of special bond between Changbin and Hyunjin and he was torn in between the two. 

Jisung knew that he had messed up big time as he finished his sentence. When he saw Hyunjin ran out of the room, he was disappointed, at himself. Deep down, he knew Hyunjin was just pointing out his mistake, and nothing was wrong about it. The problem was he has already been edgy and Hyunjin's confrontation was just pulling the final trigger to his bottled up distress.

Teacher: Jisung, this is between you guys. You have to solve it with Hyunjin.

Jisung knew damn well that he's hurt Hyunjin with his words and the teacher was right. He ran out of the room, heading to where Hyunjin was.

Seungmin was worried they'll get into a fight and started towards the door but he was stopped by the teacher.

Teacher: Stop! Let them be. This is a matter that they'll need to talk it out between themselves. They'll get closer to each other after this.

The rest of them can only wait for the two to settle their issues. The practice ended earlier than expected, and the members were waiting for the two in the practice room.

Seungmin: Do you think they'll be alright?

Jeongin: What if they started fighting?

Changbin: Should I check on them?

Bang Chan: No. We should just wait. We should trust them.

The room fell dead silence after that.

In the bathroom...

Hyunjin was sobbing quietly in one of the cubicle. The scene of Jisung calling him out kept on repeating in a loop inside of his head. More tears were flowing down his cheeks. He had no idea how long he'd been crying until he heard a soft knocking on the door.

Jisung: It's me. Can we talk?

Click! 

The door was opened and Jisung was feeling even more guilty when he saw the sorry state of Hyunjin whose face was covered with dried streaks of tears, with his hair being a mess, covering his eyes. He was lost for words for a minute. He wanted to apologise but it's not easy as he had this conflicting feelings. He knew he was wrong but at the same time he's also feeling that it's not entirely his fault either. Feeling a mixture of anger, resentment, guilt, and anxiety, making him unable to mutter a simple "sorry" at that time. Hyunjin was quiet too. Both of them were too self-conscious to apologise right there and make up.

Jisung: Hey, I think we both don't get along well.

Hyunjin: Mmm.

Jisung: How about we just avoid each other for the time being. I think it'll be better for all of us this way.

Hyunjin: I think so...

Jisung: Ok. So we agree on this, right?

Hyunjin: Yeah...

Jisung: I'll head out first. Come out when you're ready. They must be waiting for us outside.

Hyunjin didn't know what else to say so he just nodded. And Jisung left after that.

When Hyunjin had finally entered the practice room, everyone's attention was on him, but he just gave them an assuring smile.

Bang Chan: So, are you guys good now?

Jisung & Hyunjin: Yeah...

At the dorm...

Hyunjin went straight to the room and Seungmin followed suit. Changbin saw that and figured that he'll talk with Hyunjin at a later time. 

Hyunjin couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out in tears as he sat on his bed. Seungmin enveloped him in his arms, patting him from time to time. When Hyunjin had calmed down a little with only soft sobs to be heard, Seungmin released him but continued to hold his hand.

Seungmin: You alright?

Hyunjin: Mmm.

Seungmin: Do you wanna talk?

Hyunjin: ... ... It's my fault... I should've known better... I shouldn't have done that... I think I've... I think I've messed up the team. I'm so sorry....sob

Seungmin: No, it's alright. All of us argue from time to time. It'll pass. We're just stressed.

Hyunjin: I think... I think I should be a better person...

Seungmin: You're already doing well, Hyunjin. Things will get better, trust me.

Hyunjin: Mmm...I hope so.

In another room...

Jisung got on his bed and covered himself with the blanket over his head. He didn't know what exactly happened, everything just passed by so fast. The only thing he understand was that he had messed up today, and he had a really bad day. Without knowing, his cheeks were wet. It took awhile for him to realise that he was crying. He had hurt the feelings of the most delicate member today. He had always known that Hyunjin would cry when Kkami, his dog was feeling down. He would cry when watching a melodrama, and he even cry with the characters of an anime...How bad will he be crying after today's incident... Guilt hit him so hard today that for the first time he actually believes that people can died from suffocation due to guilt alone. 

For their remaining days of predebut, they did not know how they get through it but they did as they agreed on, avoiding each other. They will sit the furthest away from each other, they'll eat at a different time. They were only in the same room whenever there's group activity. But when they're at the same place, they can't help but stealing glances at each other when the other person was not looking. Deep down, they were yearning to make up with each other, but in reality, both of them were too proud to take the first step, and they were also too scared to make the first move just in case they will make things worse. 

The members thought they're on good terms now since there's no more new conflict between the two but the tension among the two had never subsided since the incident that day. It was just a perfect facade to hide their discord, keeping the group's cohesion while doing their best to avoid each other. 

As the days gone by, they had redirected their focus on debuting. They had no idea that this will become the legendary fight among the members that will go down in history.

Subtle 🖤 TBC...

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A/N: I'm so glad that I was able to finish this epic fight in a chapter. I hope it was just a nice length for this incident. Hope you enjoy it. Stay tuned.


	6. Hazy Days ☁☁☁

On the day of evaluation...

Chan: Alright. This is the most important time for us. Let's make it through!

All nine of them were in high spirit, at the same time, they were also really nervous as they might be eliminated if they did not meet the expectation. They did a final group cheer before JYP entered the room.

JYP: Alright, guys. Did you managed to come up with your group's name?

Chan: Yes, we did. Alright, 1, 2, 3.

All: Hello, nice to meet you. We're Stray Kids.

JYP: St-straight kidz?

Chan: Haha, no. It's S-t-r-a-y. Stray KidS. 

JYP: Ah, Stray Kids. It's quite a unique name in this field.

Chan: Yes, it is. Because it's more relatable to us as if we're kids that're astray and still finding for our right path. 

JYP: It's meaningful. I like it. Well, are you ready to perform your song?

All: Yes we are. 

JYP: I can see that it's call Hellevator. Why is it named so?

Changbin: It's originally Elevator but we found that by adding the "H" in front, it's changed to Hellevator which symbolises the elevator that goes down to hell. It just shows our struggles as trainees, those difficult moments, those times that we're going through together. This song depicts all of that, that part of our journey.

JYP: Sounds good to me. I'm looking forward to your performance. Please start. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_< Hellevator> by SKZ_ **

My life was rock bottom, an edge of a cliff  
I'm walking in a dark tunnel  
Cruel and fearful days  
I'm enduring through alone  
The classroom hallways get farther away, I'm on unfamiliar paths  
I'm so unlucky  
On this path I'm on  
I don't even have a map  
But I never want to turn around  
It's a maze  
  
People tell me this kind of suffering  
Is just a passing storm  
  
I need to set up a trap called failure  
As I bit on the bait that is pain  
I'm wandering  
As I put away my tired wings of passion  
  
My life was rock bottom, an edge of a cliff  
I'm walking in a dark tunnel  
Cruel and fearful days  
I'm enduring through alone  
I hold out my hand  
But no one is there to grab it  
  
As I try to escape above  
I'm on a   
My   
I'm on a hellevator  
My hellevator  
I'm on a hellevator  
  
I'm praying to live as I try to endure  
With the piercing eyes on me  
I'm going insane  
Even if I succeed  
I'll be someone's clown  
So people tell me to give up on becoming a singer  
I'm getting weak  
But I keep pushing myself  
  
My life was rock bottom, an edge of a cliff  
I'm walking in a dark tunnel  
Cruel and fearful days  
I'm enduring through alone  
I hold out my hand  
But no one is there to grab it  
I'm riding on my pain and my tears  
As I try to escape above  
I'm on a hellevator  
My hellevator  
I'm on a hellevator  
My hellevator  
I'm on a hellevator  
  
I'm fighting harder, run away from this place  
I'm on the hellevator, I'm gonna go up  
I'm escaping from my dark past  
Shining on my path ahead  
Tiresome times that drove me crazy  
I'm running so I can forget  
As the bell of a new start rings  
I got on, hold my hand  
  
I'm on a hellevator  
My hellevator  
I'm on a hellevator

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JYP: Hmm~ I like it. Actually, I didn't expect it to be this good.

All: Thank you.

JYP: However, this is not enough for you to debut. Don't you feel that the key is a little too high for a boy group?

They tensed at his words.

Chan: I think we have the vocals that can pull it through.

JYP: Yes, but it's quite risky with the currently unstable vocals. Firstly, Jeongin, your voice is really unstable and it's piercing to listen to. I'm not sure if it's because you're still growing and is experiencing the voice changing phase, but if this goes on, you have to step out from the debut line.

Jeongin: *gulp*

JYP: Hyunjin, I still can't really hear what you're rapping. I can't make out the words from your rap. You better practise more on your pronunciation.

Hyunjin: I will...thank you.

Changbin glanced at him swiftly but Hyunjin just stared at the floor for the entire time.

JYP: Chan, you still need more charisma. Please, be more selfish! When it's your turn, try to stand out more. And Changbin. You're still the most stand out member for me. You have your own style and colour when you rap. You really own the stage. 

Chan: Yes, I'll improve. Thank you. 

Changbin did not know how should he take the compliment when his friends were being butchered with criticism. 

Changbin: Thank you...

JYP: Jisung, you can rap. But that's all to it. Your rapping style is still not standing out enough. If you can have the unique style like how Changbin has his own, you'll shine better. But I'm impressed at your high note, though it's still need to be more stable.

Jisung: Yes...thank you.

JYP: Minho, your training time is the shortest. Your vocal...is still unstable. Can you rap instead? Break Hyunjin's rap into two parts. Minho will rap the first part while Hyunjin can focus on improving his rap on a shorter part. Right, Minho, try rapping now.

Minho was nervous at this sudden change, so is everyone else, but they started the demo anyway. As Minho was waiting for his turn to rap, he felt his mouth dried up. Suddenly, a hand grabbed his left hand. It was Jisung. He smiled at him, silently encouraging him. This actually made him feel much calmer and he started rapping with Jisung rapping alongside him in a lower voice.

JYP: See, it's better this way. Ok, so this part will be changed. Now, today the ones who are at risk of elimination are --- Minho, Hyunjin, and Jeongin.

The Stray kids tensed at his words. They were not ready to bid farewell to any of the members yet.

JYP: But there'll be no elimination today. However, I want you guys to split into groups of three subunits among yourselves. Each unit will focus on helping the members who are nominated to be eliminated to improve. You'll be reassessed in four days. On that day, the one who did not improve will be eliminated. Alright, that's all for today.

After the evaluation, they did not know how did they walked back to the practice room. None of them spoke on the way back. The shock, the adrenaline rush at each mention of the word "elimination", they were totally exhausted, both physically and mentally. The worst thing was they still can't rest. They only have four days and they still need to form three groups. 

They gathered around in a semicircle and started discussing.

Chan: Right, everyone did well today. We'll improve better, don't worry. Does anyone have any idea to form the groups?

Silent.

Chan: Okay, how about Jeongin, Hyunjin and Minho choose the members that they want to work with?

They started to look at each other. Hyunjin's eyes met with Changbin's before he turned to look at other members. Since the feud between him and Jisung, Hyunjin had this complicated feelings. When he felt the most vulnerable, it wasn't Changbin who's at his side, it was Seungmin. He doesn't know anymore about things between them. Are their relationship was something more special than the normal brotherhood, or their relationship was just a deeper kind of friendship, and that's all about it. Besides, he's also feeling disappointed at himself for not achieving the improvement he had wanted to even with Changbin's help. He felt like he had let him down.

Changbin: Hyunjin ya~

Hyunjin smiled awkwardly and avoided his gaze. 

Changbin: Let's work together~

Hyunjin: Hahahaha, no. I don't want to.

Hyunjin started laughing and stumbled backwards. Changbin's heart dropped a beat. 

Changbin: Why?

Hyunjin: 'Cause I wanna work with Chan hyung... and also Seungmin. I wanna try a different genre, a more softer, and lyrical side.

Seungmin agreed and shifted to Hyunjin's side.

Changbin: Is it true?

Changbin pouted and asked.

Changbin wasn't sure what's going on. Since Hyunjin had a fight with Jisung, they had been spending lesser time together. Although they shared a room, all they did these days were just literally sleeping in the room. They were not even talking much. Changbin thought it was all just stress and exhaustion, but now it didn't look like it's just as simple as stress issues. But he really hoped that Hyunjin did made the decision for his own good.

Hyunjin: Yeah. Hahahaha don't be sad-

Felix: Then work with me, Changbin hyung!

Changbin: Fine, I'll help Minho with Felix then!

Felix: Yay!

Felix hugged Changbin and he patted back the younger while Minho smiled, feeling grateful for the duo's offer. Hyunjin bit his lower lip and contemplated for a while before resuming his smile. The groups were formed: 1. Hyunjin, Chan, Seungmin; 2. Minho, Felix, Changbin; 3. Jeongin, Jisung, Woojin.

Each of the group practised separately. Without knowing, the duo drifted further apart. Starting with Hyunjin and Seungmin spending most of the time in Chan's workroom, then Seungmin was in their room to talk about their performance and to practise with Hyunjin. Now, they had changed their rooms back to Seungmin as Hyunjin's roommate while Changbin moved into Felix's room. This was partially for the ease of practising, another half of it, they both understand that they needed a break from anything that's distracting them from debuting right now.

Hyunjin bumped into Changbin and Felix one night after practising. Three of them were preparing to walk back to the dorm.

Changbin: Hey.

Hyunjin: Hey.

Changbin: Erm, going back to dorm?

Hyunjin: Yea.

Felix: Let's walk back together! We're stopping at the convenience shop though. 

Hyunjin: Yea, sure. 

Three of them were walking in a line. They talked about their practice.

Changbin: So, how did it go?

Hyunjin: It's going fairly well. We're doing a more melodic concept. 

Changbin: That's good.

Felix: Sounds cool.

Hyunjin: Haha, yeah. What about you guys?

Changbin: We're doing pretty good as well. Minho hyung can rap better than we thought.

Felix: That's right.

Hyunjin: Good to know that.

Changbin: Is your rap gettin-

Felix: Oh, we're here!

Changbin: ... ... Lix, do you mind going in first? I'll join you later.

Felix nodded and headed into the convenience shop.

Changbin: Erm, I'm just, well. How's your rapping practice go? 

Hyunjin: Yea...I think it's going ok for now.

Since they were in different subunit now, Chan was the one helping with Hyunjin's rap instead of Changbin. They felt the awkwardness as this was the first proper conversation they had since the distribution of subunits. 

Changbin: That's good. You know, you can always find me whenever you need help with it.

Hyunjin: Yeah, I know. I, I'm always been grateful to you, hyung. You've helped me a lot. I just wished that I was able to improve as much as I'd hoped.

Changbin: Hey, don't need to be that harsh on yourself.

Hyunjin: But I have to! 

Changbin: ... ...

Hyunjin: Sorry... I'm just. Sigh, I'm just really stressed with the position I'm currently in, hyung. I could be eliminated nex-

Changbin: No, Hyunjin. It won't be you. In fact no one's going to-

Hyunjin: That's just you thinking that way. Hyung, my rapping wasn't good enough, I'm not standing out during the performance, I'm almost invisible. With or without me, the group still can survive. I'm jus-

Changbin: Hyun-

Hyunjin: Changbin, please. Listen to me first. I know it when I was nominated as part of the elimination line. I know I'm still lacking to debut...You're different from me, hyung. You're the centre of the group. You shine on the stage, everyone sees you when you rap. I'm trying not to sound jealous or pessimistic, haha.

Changbin listened with a heavy heart as Hyunjin tried to lighten up the mood. He understood how Hyunjin must be feeling now. So far, only him, Jisung and Woojin had some actual good feedback. And Hyunjin had been constantly being criticised for his rap. He must have been feeling really down. Although he had done all he can to help, he still felt like he could have done more for him.

Hyunjin: Hyung, you don't have to feel burdened by my situation. You have enough on your shoulder to carry. That's why I choose not to work with you this time. I really wanted to improve myself. This is a hurdle that I must overcome it by myself. So, promise me that you'll not beat yourself up too much. It's my problem, it's not yours. Just focus on your task at hand. And hyung, keep it up with your stage dominance. I'm really happy for you. You did so well.

Hyunjin beamed into a happy smile to him. Changbin couldn't say anything else. Hyunjin had made it clear that he wanted to do this by his own. And he somehow felt relieved by his words, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulder. He had always been conflicted about his good performance in the midst of other members hardships. This was the first time someone had told him that he'd done well and he deserved it. Sometimes, getting showered by compliments can be burdensome. But getting the acknowledgment from someone close to you can be comforting and encouraging. Hyunjin's words had really clarify his conflicted feelings and he's grateful for that.

Changbin: Hyunjin, thank you. You have no idea ho-

Felix: Hyung- oh, am I interrupting? 

Hyunjin: Haha, no, Lix. I'm 'bout to head off. See you guys at dorm.

Felix: Oh, Okie. Changbin hyung, I've bought my stuff. Do you want anything else?

Changbin looked at Hyunjin's fading silhouette as he disappeared in the distance. He thought the taller had become thinner these days. _"Is he even eating properly?"_ He thought to himself.

Changbin: Er, sorry Lix, for taking so long. I'll have a look inside.

Felix: Ok, let's go!

Subtle 🖤 TBC...

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Their relationship is kinda like a smouldering, it might turns into a bonfire the very next moment or it could go extinguished. Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. Stay tuned.


	7. A Sudden Notice !!!

Some chapters cover and images were re-edited due to the recent controversy and scandal. I'll refrain from using any photo/images of him. Please let me know if I've missed out any of it from the published chapters so far. 

He will only be mentioned during the departure & during some conflicts with SKZ members in between chapters as this story covers their predebut period... However, this fanfic is focussing on Stray Kids, which are the 8 members, and of course, the main ship, Changjin.

Sorry for any inconvenience/discomfort that the published or coming chapter(s) had caused to some readers. It's alright to drop my story if it's making you uncomfortable because of the character included in this fanfic. I will understand.

Lastly, thank you for your time and understanding. Please take good care of yourself and remember to do self-care daily. 


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